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DON'T
TRY THIS AT HOME;

"Dirty
Metal Kids-1, PIRATE-0"
Listen,
I'm going to get right to the point. I went to the LOVE message
board and read that really silly note Mr. PIRATE posted. I won't
even call PIRATE one-dimensional, for fear of insulting stick people
everywhere. But when someone says that the band that you people
have seen WORKING THEIR ASSES off playing those incredible songs
with passion and reverence is a bunch of "Dirty Metal Kids"
and calling the singer "Ghetto" and even adding that no
one in the band "looks Mod" AND that we didn't have a
friggin acoustic guitar during the Forever Changes songs... well
boo-f*cking-hoo, PIRATE.
Was
this your first rock concert? Don't you know the difference between
a orchestration production and a rock and roll show? I mean, are
you stuck in a different decade or did you hit the chronic too hard
before the show? Next time we play Detroit, I suggest you bust out
the beta and check out your WOODSTOCK tape for the 100th time. Let's
roll it all back, right? I would think that if a 13 year old can
figure out what we're doing on this tour then maybe you could at
least PRETEND to know something about music. And don't give me that
sh*t about your band opening for Rick Springfield in '88, OK? Or
the time you roadied for CSNY. You know your way to the message
board so you obviously know what we've been accomplishing since
April. You think we should stop because the band is too old or something
like that you said?
Tell
ya what, PIRATE, why don't you roll out of bed and, instead of spending
your unemployment check on Weed, next time go and rent some cute
guys who dress Mod and pay them to learn Forever Changes. And throw
in an acoustic guitar to boot.
The
really sad thing about your posting is the absolute rudeness and
lack of respect you show a man that has been kicking ass night after
night, trying to give YOU a memorable show. And this is how you
repay it by making sure everybody knows you're an idiot. OK, so
now we know. I suggest you get on with it and the next time we're
in Hockey Town, you stay home, dress up and listen to Forever Changes
with some of your "by the book" hippy friends. That way,
you guys can relive the past. Or maybe I have you all wrong; maybe
you're not a balding middle aged hippy with contact lenses but instead
is a Verve or Oasis wannabe. Either way, you lose, PIRATE. The Dirty
Metal kids will be rocking Scotland by the time you read this. And
you'll still be in Detroit, a total bummer in the summer, Chump.
=====
Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

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