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DON'T
TRY THIS AT HOME;

"Day
25,part 2: Maybe these Mormons have a point..."
Rusty's driving
right as i type this (we have Steely Dan's "Aja" playing
as we barrel thru scenic Utah in all it's wonderful sites. This
has always been one of my favorite states to drive thru but i sure
as heck would move here except for 1 fact; this is the Bigomist
capital in the USA.
There are
alot of left over Brigham Youngites who still believe (and practice)
Bigomy is the way to go and no one should be able to tell 'em different.
Well, i say, it's about time somebody started talking sense. I mean,
this whole time i had a wife i could have had a few of them. And
i'm a strong believer in competition; whatever makes the house a
little more interesting, i'm all for it.
But according
to the law, it's illegal in the state of Utah. So, why so many Bigomist
in the state of Utah if it's so illegal? Cause they look the other
way. See, that's what i'm talking about; team work.
Now, every
man has had that urge or "tingling" to look for that little
something ya can't get at home. We don't neccesarily do it or even
look for it. But when you see a guy like Hugh Hefner on tv with
something like 50 babes surrounding him, you can't help but feel
a little left out.
But not in
Utah. Cause you could have your own litle mormon playboy mansion.
What if you have a woman who's gret in bed but can't cook to save
her life? Or you have a woman who loves to cook and clean but isn't
really that great at other things. Or you have a woman who can cook,
clean, is great in bed but makes awful Bloody Marys. Bigomist side
step ALL these problems and get one for each season.
Currently,
there are over 10,0000 happy bigomist living in the state of Utah,
if the media are to be believed. And societywants to put these guys
in jail. IN JAIL! What did he do wrong? They've interviewd some
of thee wives and they're happy. I mean, if it's a good relationship
and everyone's happy, what's the problem? Who said relationships
were best as a monogamy? Where's the proof? You think Bill Clinton
would have had to lie if he could have just had a few more FIRST
LADIES?
I say, let
people do as they wish so long as it's not stepping on my toes.
I don't like the Government regulating other people's happiness.
You ever watch the discover channel? The female lions hunt the fod
and bring it back and the male lion eats what he wants and then
the cubs amd females divvy up what's leftover. Then he has his way
with whichever female lion he particularly fancies. Nobody's trying
to lock these lions up behind bars because that's nature as it was
intened. Men and women don't want the same things. A woman saves
what a man drowns, you know? they do almost everything for different
reasons. Women don't go to strip clubs because they know it's a
waste of money. You could explain to a man if you took a whole year.
So, in summation,
i feel i've given a good argument for Bigomist everywhere and maybe
a voice of reason for the rest of us. By the way, i had the new
SUBWAY terriyaki/sweet oinion sandwhich in Grand Junction, Colorado
and it was delicious. I highly recommend it, for those of you that
eat chicken. Now it's on to Vegas, which we should arrive in Vegas
by 7:30pm...yay.
=====
Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

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