DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

HAVE IT YOUR WAY

here in the good ol USA we like to eat hamburgers. loads of them. when i am
in England i practically wee myself silly when i see their idea of what a
hamburger is supposed to look like and taste like. but i also i subscribe to
the idea that, if you dont know what you are missing you are much better off.

but this week i decided to be a total pig and put some of these to the test.
now, i didnt go to each place this time but i HAVE been to some before and i
have a very good memory when it comes to food

Big Mac®
Serving Size: 7.8 oz (219 g)
MANTRA: Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions
on a sesame seed bun.

this is the classic cholesterol special. that twinge you feel in your viens is
the special sauce oozing through your arteries. but when you are starved and
its been awhile, cmon; BIG MAC ATTACK!!! more like BIG MAC HEART ATTACK! I
swea these used to be bigger. and i am old enough to remember when they were
just 75 cents.
======

The Original WHOPPPER® Sandwich has been doing its thing since 1957.
MANTRA: HAVE IT YOUR WAY®

this is a fire-grilled classic and everything you would expect from a
great-tasting burger - 1/4 pound of beef, red ripe tomatoes, crisp lettuce,
creamy mayonnaise, ketchup, crunchy pickles and onions all on a freshly baked
bun. the fact that its not fried is a total plus, in my opinion, and it packs a
whallup when it comes to flavor. i love mine with everything on it, extra
tomatoes.
=====

ORIGINAL TOMMYS
MANTRA: if the shack aint on the sack, take it the f*ck back

they serve hot dogs, french fries and tamales in all their locations - but
their ORIGINAL TOMMY Burger made them World Famous. Every burger is prepared to
order, and extra portions of chili, tomato, onions, pickle or mustard are
served at no extra charge. try THAT in manchester and you will be drawn and
quartered, i promise you.
=====

THE DOUBLE DOUBLE
MANTRA: IN & OUT, thats what a hamburgers all about.

the double double is two 100% pure beef patties, hand-leafed lettuce, tomato,
spread, two slices of American cheese, with or without onions, stacked high on
a freshly baked bun. if you are hungry for a burger and not into chili (like
Tommys), you simply cannot go wrong at IN & OUT. There is ALWAYS line, its
affordable and you will almost never get a bad burger. plus they make great
chocolate shakes. what more do i need to say?
=====

JAYS JAYBURGER
MANTRA: none

dave chapple took me to this place in 1996 and i couldnt believe how good it
was. i ate a double burger, got back in line and got another. and that was
the only time i ever went. but its in silverlake so if you live there or plan
to go there (like on your way to my DEC 19 SPACELAND show), stop by for sure.

now, normally i would have reviewed the Carls Jr. SUPER STAR but i had a bad
run in with Carls about 2 years ago. basically, they were running an ad on
their website that said, if i printed out the coupon and brought it in, i would
get a free soda, provided i bought a burger. so i printed it out and brought
it to the Carls jr. on Santa Monica BLVD, just east of 26th street, in Santa
Monica (directly accross the street from the Mc Donalds that O.J. and KATO went
to the night of the murders) and guess what? the manager, a real TWIT named
HECTOR, refused to honor it! So i contacted the corporate headquarters and
they got back to me PROMPTLY with a typical corporate apology but no coupon.
not even an offer to reimburse me for the soda. so i have never gone back.
their loss.

SCOTTISH ROSE RECORDINGS
www.thefreedomman.com

=====

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

BACK TO LOVE TOUR DIARIES