DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

"JUST CALL LAKERS

THE BUS DRIVERS"

cause they are taking everybody to school! oh by the way, if there are no
quotation marks or hyphens or underscores its because this keyboard is f*cked,
ok? just a warning. SOOO the Lakers went up against the #1 team in the
Eastern Conference, the Indiana PACERS, and this was supposed to be the test to
see if the Lakers are for real. nevermind that six pack of whup ass we opened
up on the Spurs friday. so these pacers came to LA and, i dont know if you
have ever been to Indiana...i have...more times than i would like to admit...,
but Indiana is like a totally useless state.

now, i know what you are thinking if you are from Indiana and reading this;
what about Iowa, Nebraska and Oklahoma? you DO have a point. its not THE most
worthless state but its high on the list. and if New Orleans wasnt in
Louisiana...BUT BACK TO THE LAKERS...so the Pacers came to town and well
wouldnt you know it; Lakers 99/ Pacers 77. a complete blow out. and this is
supposed to be the team thatrepresents the East as its best possibility to beat
a western team for the NBA championship. but they have 1 big problem. and his
name is SHAQ. all roads go thru Shaq. San Antonio did it last year cause we
didnt have an answer for that French guard of theirs, Tony Parker. But now
that BUSH has declared France the enemy and changed FRENCH to FREEDOM, Tony
Parker is now simply a FREEDOM GUARD. and how can you win a championship with
a Freedom Guard?

while i was in England, BUSH visited Blair and the Royals. I was in a pub,
having a pint of CARLSBERG EXPORT (yummy) when a bloke said to me, you know
what mate? if i didnt have anything to lose, id put a bullet right thru your
mans brain, i would. and i thought that weird. how could anyone think putting
a bullet thru BUSHs brain would do anything? isnt that like someone shooting
you in the hair? ok, enough pickin on dubya.

well, gonna go to the Bitter Redhead manana and have some pints with the gang.
hopefully, Roland will be there so i can kick his ass in Galaga. wait, did i
tell you how he kept challenging me to Galaga? but then we had to leave and
could play a second round cause (no lie) these British Rugby players who were
in town, were occupying that side of the pub and they were not only loud and
obnoxious but they SMELLED like they had been working on the railroad for like
4 weeks without a shower. it smelled like the Oakland Raiders locker room over
there. so Roland will have to wait till tomorrow, that is if he aint too
chicken. and if he has an extra keyboard for the MAC it is totally
appreciated.

ok, i know what you are thinking; the Diary needs region 2, the Diary needs the
Sopranos, the Diary needs a pint. basically, the Diary is one big BLAG sign.
class is not one of my best traits, as W.C. Feilds once told Mae West (and he
meant it too.) well, studio calleth us this week so this one is gonna end here
but a very nice woman in England emailed me to say that she really enjoys the
Diaries. Sharon, thank you. its nice when 469 people email you to say you
suck and then that one..THAT ONE email comes thru and all the lights come
on...the clouds part...the rain ceases and the deer come out to graze. its
moments like these that brings a tear to the diarys eyes. or maybe its the
onions i am cutting. either way, it was a special moment. better things are
truly on their way.

SCOTTISH ROSE RECORDINGS
www.thefreedomman.com

=====

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

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