DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

"NO BUMMER THIS SUMMER!"

That title at the bottom of an e-mail I got from a fan in Oslo who went to
Roskilde. And I thought it was quite appropriate because, this has been ,
maybe, the best summer I've had since 1996, which was when Arthur went away.
Now, THAT was a real BUMMER, man. But now, better horizons have shown
themselves in the form of wonderful travels and musical globtrotting (am I high
or jetlagged?)...yeah, whatever, huh!!!! Well, got an e-mail from Chapple this
morning so they're all back fine (with the exception of Rusty, who's in Sweden
for another week doing lord knows what..) and pretty soon, we'll get ready for
this USA tour, which will be fun and interesting.

We've all toured the states more than a few times and it's nice to know we'll
be visiting a lot of places we've been to before. I always kept little
notebook diaries of every city, restaurant and even every hotel (including the
employees names!) I ever stayed at. Yep, I am that nutty. But it's also nice
to have this things as a reference because they are also nice historical points
of interest and it's nice to have the freeway exits written down! No
roundabouts this way, lads! Just straight USA lines going north to south and
east to west. Very simple (and if you've ever been to Nebraska you'd know
why...)...ok enough of that..oh, speaking of dissin' I got an e-mail from a
bloke named,"Neil", who lives in Milton Keynes and felt that I was offending
some of the people in his town and said I was wrong to do that. Well, he's
right. I apologise for offending SOME of the Milton Keynes people; that was
not my intention and I promise, the next time we play there, I will make every
humanly possible attempt to offend EVERYONE in Milton Keynes.

Now then, on the the USA. In every city I 've been in, I tend to have little
places that stand out to me. Take San Fransisco, for instance. One of my fave
deli places, TOMMY'S JOINT, is there. Whether you want a classic Reuben or
just a mile-high ( 1.62 kilometers) piled pastrami sandwhich, this is the
place. As a matter of fact, their slogan (which sits as a sign next to the
name) says THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE THIS PLACE SO THIS MUST BE THE PLACE.
Vegatarians, please avoid. the sell ostrich burgers as well as buffalo
sausages, ok? But also, the EDINBURGH CASTLE, which is a Scottish pub (duh),
is not far...like a few blocks away...for that JUST RIGHT pint of ACHOR STEAM
lager. And also within walking distance is the LUSTY LADY. Not the classiest
place in the world, but the 25 cents peep show (about 2 danish Kronas) is still
a deal in my book.

From there, we hit Eugene and Portland Oregon. Can't say much about the first
one, cause I only breezed through it but Portland is the place. I always have
the best times there and, it seams no matter where you go, there's Dim Sum,
Karaoke and Widmer's Hefeweisen on tap. What more do you need? And if you
want to take in some loud punk rock, check out the Satyricon club. Portland
rules.

Then we play Vancouver, which I 've never visited but I hear it's great. If
anyone reading this knows Jason Zumpano, tell him I lost his number and to
e-mail me if he's coming to the show. Anyone who hasn't heard any of the
ZUMPANO CDs...shame on you! From there, we hit up Seattle, where we will no
doubt see David fairweather..one of Arthur's closest friends, a good friend to
the band and he also came on our '96 european tour. I'm sure the girls in
Malmo, Sweden remember him! (just kidding, DF!) Seattle is where Arthur's long
ago buddy, Jimi Hendrix was from. I don't have too much to say about seattle
except I can never find anyplace to get coffee there... (note to the
Norwegians: that was a joke)...my foundest memory was when Daddyo and I were
hanging outside talking to one of the guys from The Presidents of the United
States of America (remember that band?)..and these 10 boys (must have been 12
years old each) chased another kid and kicked his ass. i ahve no idea what the
kid did...but it took 10 kids to kick his ass.

From there, we head to Minneapolis, the land of lots of beer, sweet mid-western
girls (farmer's daughters?) and home to the 1st ave club, where Prince filmed
Purple rain. Not only is this daddyo's hometown, but this is a awesome city on
it's own. I really like it and since it ain't winter, it'll be even better!
there's a great late-night Pizza-slice place right around the corner, for those
midnight mad-mad muchies too. Then, we say goodbye to Minn. and hit Chicago,
the land of traffic jams. it might take you 3 hours to go 10 miles in Chicago.
Chicago traffic makes Central london (at 5pm) look like the INDY 500. But I
love Chicago...truly one hell of a town. Lots to do, lots to look at, and
hopefully, we'll take in a Cubs baseball game if we're lucky.

After that, we play in Detroit and, other than the great greek food in the
greek section (or the german food not far from it), we'll probably be lucky if
we're not car jacked. So expect us to hit the ground running and haul ass to
Cleveland. Speaking of Cleveland, Ray davis once called it "Sleazy Town",
which I would take as a complimant if i were them. I dig this town. they have
a beautiful ballpark in Jacob's Field and , if you are down with hot wings, you
gotta try BW3 wings. Also, HOOTERS is right by the river so you really can't
go worng in Cleveland.Plus you get to say, "HELLO, CLEVELAND" right before you
go onstage.

Ok, so I covered the first 9 cities of this American tour. In the next diary,
I'll pick up where I left off, which would be Toronto, one of the best cities
in north America. Hopefull, by the time I write the next diary, Dubya will not
have invaded Candana for being in some axis of evil or something like that.
Barley hanging on to sanity...

=====

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

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