DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

"My Philadelphia Story"

so, i told you about how we were checked into our hotel in Philly and watching
the game and drinking beer and eating crap and stuff, right? ok. next morning
we go to sound check about 3pm and kinda sit around while these philly
Tracadero guys just kinda chill and time keeps creepin along and we're all
sittin around and i'm lookin at that guy over there who's smokin a ciggy and
he's on his cell phone when he's not runnin into the backroom to catch the
Eagles/ Giants game. ok? so we finally get this soundcheck up and runnin,
right? the deal is we're all supposed to get $12 each as a food buyout. but
they pull a fast one give us $10 coupons for some local eateries. if we
weren't so tired somebody would have certainly gotten their ass kicked. turns
out, Pete, Dan and myself went across the street for good Thai food and beer
while the rest of the gang went back to the hotel to shower and get dresses,
leaving their coupons to Wilt away like a snowflake in hades (ok, that line was
me pretending to write like a rock journalist)...so my motto is smell bad/ eat
good.

hit the stage and of course there's Frank the SUPER FAN right there up front as
we started with the first song. Show was a good time and the Philly fans
(known for Booing Santa Claus) showed us the super love. it felt good. and
after the show, we were backstage chilling drinking beers and you know, kickin
it. we hear some noise outside. we open our windows (we're on the 2nd floor)
and there are some fans below yelling for the Singer! It was really cool, to
be honest. and they were so nice. then this one guy separates from the pact
and makes his request known at the top of his lungs; THROW THE CELLO PLAYER
DOWN! Rusty and i were practically in tears laughing our asses off!
well....being the cheeky f*cker i am, i go and get Ana, our Cello player (or as
Kose says, "the SELLOW player"). well she walks out and dude says to her, 'yo
Ana, my name is Bruce and you are amazing! i want you!' Ana says something to
the effect of 'whatever' and kinda starts laughing but Bruce has the ultimate
comeback. Bruce says to Ana that she should check out HIS WEBSITE! now get
this..it's called..or was supposed to be called.....WWW.BRUCETHELOVER.COM ...
yes. fun stuff. don't try the site cause we already tried it on Paula's
computer backstage. didn't work. Bruce, you disappoint. so, from the gals i
say to you, don't tease.

Got back to the hotel like around 2am and we partied like a mofo. got a knock
on my door around 10am. it was Ana. i'd left my jacket in her hotel room the
night before (at the party, silly...get yer mind out tha guttah)..and now she
wanted shaving cream. OK I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW...this sounds really weird and
stuff. But Ana wanted shaving cream. ...for....her...........socks. yes.
she'd spillt wine on her socks and Paula had sold her on the ridiculous idea
that shaving cream gets wine stains out. but if you knew paula like we knew
paula you'd know she gets a kick out of playing practical jokes. her and Bruce
the lover. yep. SOOOOOO Dan Clucas (Trumpet/flute) is walking sown the
hallway and walks past my room. then he comes back and does a double-take.
10am. my room. me. Ana. shaving cream. Ana's socks. weird sh*t, man. and
the laughs that followed that scene were worth a million bucks. i knew then it
was gonna be a good day. and that, my friends, is MY Philadelphia story.

=====

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

BACK TO LOVE TOUR DIARIES