DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

"THIS IS MY TRUTH TELL ME YOURS"

no one loans money to a man with a sense of humor. if you've ever seen the
movie HEAD (featuring the MONKEES) you'd know what i'm talking about. no one
wants to give you money unless you already have it. no one gives you anything
unless you have everything. even if this sounds ass-backwards (it is) this is
precisely the way life works. when a lion spots a slow elk that can't keep up
you think the other 200 elk slow down? no. they go even faster in the
opposite direction. they live another day, the lion gets his lunch and the
slow poke is history. you wanna survive? keep moving. it isn't fair but it
is the way things work.

the music business is similar to the african savannahs. although there is some
brush to camouflage behind, most of us can't run and none of us can hide. i
learnt to kind of take it all in and get a good laugh. see, i'm not perfect by
any stretch of imagination. i CAN'T see around corners. but i have had the
interesting experience of having my career managed by people known as ARTIST
MANAGERS. having someone else manage your life is like watching someone back a
tank up into your driveway and right through your garage. it truly is an
incredible, breath-holding ordeal at times.

these days i manage my own affairs. i am MUCH happier. now, i do have
management representation in the U.K., but in the good ol usa i prefer to keep
a very low profile. you have to be careful around here because most people are
really only concerned with keeping their jobs. so if you have a band and
BIGEGO records loves your demo, keep in mind that the dude driving the lexus
who signed van halen in '77 that says you're gonna be huge, will HIMSELF be
washing cars by the weekend. it happens that fast. of course, someone could
just be released from county jail and have a hit record 2 weeks later. these
are the types of things are what make america what it is today.

some people like having other people control things around them so they can
have someone to blame when sh*t goes bad. i prefer to have no one but myself
to blame. if i am going to fail, i want all the credit. and being a failure
isn't as easy as it looks. some people try for years with little or no success
at failing. some people actually get promoted for failing. true story: i knew
someone who signed rock groups and 5 acts flopped one after another and cost
the company millions of dollars. after each record was confirmed a failure my
friend was promoted. finally, after he had had a hand in ruining 6 bands and
over 50 people's livelihoods, he was Finally made president of the company.
Hmmm. someone is a failure all their life and then is made president. (you
thinking about who i'm thinking about?)

and yet these are the things that set america apart from the rest of the pack.
when we say we have no money to educate our youth don't you see we are only
trying to challenge them! we got money out the wazoo. we could rebuild iraq
249 times and STILL make the Ivana Trump alimony payments on time. i mean,
maybe 'old europe' doesn't have the city crime, teen pregnancy, gangs and
illiteracy problems we have but, heck, THAT'S HALF THE FUN! what's that line
again? oh yes, ' anyone who doesn't like money never had it.'

i stopped swimming and body surfing in the pacific ocean (or at least off the
coast of california and upper baja) back in 1989 because i developed ear
infections and got tired of trying to get the tar out of my hair. my old
house-mate, Tim, was from Hawaii and there was no way you could keep him from
the waves. even after he realized his toes were turning black from the tar.

now the funny part of that story is, when i was in high school and on the
speech and debate team, we debated the whole off-shore drilling controversy, as
well as the pollution problems and E.P.A. regulations that were being violated
in the reagan era like vietcong brothels. yet, when i was dating a girl who's
dad was vice president of a very successful california oil company, it never
occurred to me to ask him about that stuff. she was attractive, rich and i
just couldn't be bothered think about anything else. many people choose money
over love. this is nothing to be ashamed of. as long as you are happy.
that's my story and i'm stickin' to it.

=====

all the best,Mike

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

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