DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

"Some ROLANDS work better than others"

so i'm sitting on my computer and i've just finished listening to some MP3s
dave chapple sent me when all of a sudden i hear some sort of 'citizen's
band-like' noise and conversation through my computer speakers that at first
appear to be in a some other languange. not spanish. certainly not french.
Arabic? I mean it WAS september 12. wait, that's the wrong day. how come i
never got this kinda noise before? was i being privy to some covert operation
smashing al quaeda or was the coffee from BUZZ CAFE starting to kick in? i
couldn't figure it out and said 'screw it'.

i SHOULD HAVE KNOWN when i stated my GALAGA score (in wed's diary) that one of
my smart-ass friends would e-mail me a jpeg of their high score and it took all
of 2 hours before Roland Kim sent me his score. Roland's a good friend of ours
and i really like it when he comes around, ESPECIALLY when he brings his sweet
beautiful wife, Ayumi, with him. When Roland comes alone, well, it's not as
much fun. (Keep that in mind, Roland.)

so, he doesn't just stop with the jpeg. NO WAY. he has to tell me he's the
'GALAGA KING' and that i 'Better recognize' and that he now has an emulator set
up on one of his machines so when he's bored (whatever that means) he can play
'Vintage games'. Roland, i'm VERY proud of you. Is Ayumi aware of your little
obsession with video games? I wanted to solve my Roland problem but wasn't
sure how. Then it came to me, why not ask an expert. So i put in the call,
er, e-mail, to Roland UK's Hannah.

i told Hannah i was having a problem with my Roland and wanted to know what I
should do. She was feeling a bit under the weather with flu symptoms but still
took the time out to help this customer out. this may be why she was recently
voted employee of the month. well, she said that when she has problems with
HER Roland, she simply packs it in a box, writes a note about what's wrong with
it and ships it back to the manufacture's headquarters. that got me thinking.

if i were to 'ship' my Roland back to the manufacture's headquarters Ayumi
probably wouldn't have to listen to him talk about computers and video games at
the breakfast table. it almost makes one wonder; if getting rid of Roland were
always this easy, imagine what would have happened if Ayumi had Hannah's e-mail
address BEFORE she married Roland? It would have been either the video games or
the fed ex box. Roland, the decision is yours; make your choice wisely!!!

(side bar: that last phrase is an inside ROLAND GEAR joke. Anyone who's bought
Roland equipment knows it all too well...)

so, Hannah had helped me solve my Roland problems, even though she was
practically on her deathbed. That's dedication. I thanked her and got right
down to business; how was i going to get Roland in the box? i could arrange
(with Rusty's help) for us all to have sushi and then, when Roland wasn't
looking i would shout, "Look it's a 'CRAZY CLIMBER' game" and Roland would fall
for it and then we'd put him in the box and ship him off to the manufacture's
headquarters. The plan seemed perfect and it only took one e-mail. Knowing
that, i walked to Barney's and ordered an Anchor Steam and asked for $3 worth
of Quarters. There was a GALAGA in the corner with my name all over it.

=====

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

BACK TO LOVE TOUR DIARIES