DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

"Only in santa MONICA can you do this"

Around 4:30pm tuesday I hoped the 304 bus down Santa Monica blvd. to 4th
street. Actually, 5th street, cause the bus turns there. I walked up a block
to 'Hide Ho comics' for a few minutes and then walked to where the bus
transfers, as I was heading to Rusty's house. But then I got thirsty and
wouldn't you know it but there's a HOOTERS on 3rd and Santa Monica Blvd, across
from tower records. So I went in and watched the yankees against the lions (it
was 2-2 in the 5th) and after 8 innings and 3 pints it was still tied 2-2. I
walked up to TRUTONE music where dave jenkins sales guitars. Called Rusty's
cell and he was gonna come by anyways so I just hung out at Trutone and looked
at all the nice guitars and cool pedals.

Rusty arrived about half seven and then we went to the Bitter Redhead where he
was playing drums with the SPOILERS that night. I helped bring in the drums
and then bought a pint of STONE pale ale (my friend, Steve Wagner, is the
co-owner of STONE so it was kinda in his honor that I ordered it) and proceeded
to get the stuffings cheated out of me playing Galaga. I mean how in the fek
is anyone supposed to score more than 100,000 points with a game as jippy as
that? I refused to play my free second game. I'd had enough and went over and
talked to Spoilers' guitarist, Brook and Sam. Dave Jenkins was still at the
shop so those guys were waiting for him to make sound check.

We all kicked back and had some more pints. Then we turned out attention to
the Dodgers, who were pitching a kid who had just got called up from double 'A'
ball to picth against RANDY JOHNSON. The kid's name was Edwin Jackson (I
think) and he WORKED RANDY JOHNSON, winning 4-1, throwing a 4 hitter in the
process. Now remember; I said the kid (20 years old) pitched his VERY FIRST
MAJOR LEAGUE game against A FUTURE HALL OF FAMER (not to mention one of THE
most feared pitchers in baseball) and kicked his ass. That's like losing your
virginity to Penelope Cruz AND giving her 12 orgasms. You have a better chance
of becoming president of yemen.

So we all were feeling good knowing the kid got such an important win. And
after dave arrived and they sound checked the time hit 9:30. Just as they were
about to play more people came in. I saw an old friend, Andy Bluestein (aka,
'money B'), playing pool in the corner. I was on my 6th pint and the show
hadn't even started. I think I insulted his friend. Sorry bout that. (the
argue ment went like this; his friend asked me to give him 1 reason Bush would not
be re-elected. I said, 'cause he's stupid.' Then I felt bad for stupid people
everywhere, being unfairy lumped in with dubya...) then I was kicking it with
Brook and he was eating a taco and then he said, 'there's Monica Lewinsky.' I
looked at the woman and she LOOKED like her but I wasn't sold and didn't really
think much about it.

So the show went on and they did 2 sets and by 1am the show was almost over. I
was talking to the Wilco bassist (who jumped on stage with them for one song
and sang back-ups) for a bit...really nice guy...forgetting his name right
now...and then I found myself at the same table as Monica. THE Monica. She
was drinking white wine (that's SO brentwood) and I was on, like, my 10th pint.
She was digging the tunes and was mimmicking Rusty's drumming. We both
acknowledged the good music and how much fun the band was and gave them a
toast, pint glass to wine glass. She seemed very friendly and, I dunno, just a
nice person. A nice jewish girl who's personal life got blown out of
proportion. by 1:30 am Monica was heading out the door after saying bye to the
guys in the band.

By 2am rusty and I were at TOMMY'S. I was starved. Rusty wanted no part of
the chili-cheese burger I would later wolf down at his house. It was now about
2:30am and I was going to sleep on his couch that night, Like I'd done more
times than I could remember. There were a few books I liked to read. Richard
Feynman's THE PLEASURE OF FINDING THINGS OUT. Charles Bukowski's THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD. By 3am I was out like a light. And by 8am I was
up again, reading some issue of Scientific American, nursing a slight hangover.
I had my head down when a voice said, 'Rusty, you want a cup of coffee. Did
you dye your hair?' I looked up. It was rusty's house-mate, Kate. She
laughed when she realized it was me. I said a cup of coffee would be great. A
little later, Rusty and I went for breakfast at JOE'S MAINSTRET DINER. It was
10am and it was a bit cloudy outside. But you could smell the ocean. I picked
up a menu then put it back down. I didn't need no stinkin' menu. I had the
heuvos rancheros cause I ALWAYS have the heuvos rancheros. It was damn good.

=====

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

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