DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME;

"I came east unto Hollywood"

Saturday afternoon I was to be at a noon session to 'oversee' drum tracks for
"City Life". Although it's only a 5 minute drive from where I live, in typical
LA fashion, I was still late and arrived around 1 PM. Bassist and co-producer,
Scott Halper, was still mixing up stuff and routing cables and stuff and Jim
Laspesa was moving drums around (Jim plays left-handed so he reverses the drums
when he plays them) so i decided to walk 1 block north east to the corner of
Highland and Sunset Blvd. for a bit to eat.

It was hot (about 90F) and smelly on Sunset and there were homeless people
everywhere. I went to Carl's Jr. and ordered a burger. I looked around me.
The eating area was covered with people sleeping on tables and on the ground,
in the shade. There was a guy standing on the corner of Highland with his
shirt off, talking into a spoon as if it were a microphone. Within 3 minutes
my burger was ready. I took the bag and decided to look for a place to eat it.
As I walked to the intersection I could hear what the spoon guy was talking
about.

"...f*ck that crackah Judge...I was innocent...damn crackah...Crachahz alwayz
sendin folx ta jail...foundin' fathahz mah ass...damn crackahz..."

People making that right turn towards Vine street were rightly afraid of this
guy. So I walked across the street to McDonald's and sat down at a table that
had a shady spot underneath the umbrella. As I unwrapped the burger I noticed
another character across the street; a tall, dark man, with Foster-Grants,
Alligator shoes and a Fila sweat suit. He was having an involved conversation
with an 'ok looking' woman with a red wig on. She had red terry-cloth
'short-shorts' on and a white tee shirt that was cut off just about her belly
button. She wore Giselle shades and had on white zip ankle boots. They were both
in front of the Carl's eating area, standing where the bus stops.

But when the bus came they didn't get on. The woman walked up to a car with a
man in it and stuck her head inside. After a brief conversation with her he
sped away, 'burning rubber' to make the point. A few minutes later another car
pulled up. After another short conversation, the woman with the red wig got
into the car. The tall dark man smiled. Then it occurred to me; THIS GUY IS A
PIMP.

I took my first bite of the burger and immediately knew I'd made a mistake.
Why did I have to buy this? Sure, I was hungry but this crap wasn't going to
help anything. As I was debating whether or not to chance a third bite a short
shaved head guy in his early twenties walked up to my table and started walking
in circles around it. His shirt was off and he had Air Jordans on with
knee-high white socks. I noticed he had tattoos all over his body, most
notably "La Raza" , "Cholo" and for some reason he had "East L.A." tattooed on
his body no less than 7 times. Maybe he figured someone would think he was
from Pasadena? Well, he circled my table 4 or 5 times and then a woman ran up
to him, a young woman, and said, "Yo Cholo, you gotta stop trippin'; you can't
go back in for that Mofo. Let it go."

Seems my walking-in-circles friend was just cooling off. I guess he'd had an
altercation with a "homie" and was ready to "bust a cap" or something like
that. Well, cooler heads prevailed as the East LA kid and his girl went into
McDonalds for lunch. I took my meal, minus the 3 previous bites, and tossed
it in the garbage. I'd had enough. I walked back to the studio and we were
ready to move the mics around a bit. I told Scott and Jim the story I just
told you and they both commented that since this record is going to be called
'City Life' it's only appropriate that you see at least one pimp while making
it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

=====

Mike Randle
mike@lovewitharthurlee.com

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